To most, a bar mitzvah is a type of coming-of-age party that celebrates the ascendance of young Jewish men from childhood into adulthood. But not much is known about the bar mitzvah ceremony itself, which represents the culmination of years of preparation, marking an occasion where the boy becomes and assumes the responsibilities of a Jewish adult.

It’s also a cause for celebration, and bar mitzvah parties are a common occurrence following a traditional ceremony earlier in the day at synagogue, typically on the Shabbat (Saturday). In a bar mitzvah ceremony, the young man is called up to the Torah where he chants or reads aloud to the congregation during his first aliyah. After the ceremony is completed, it’s customary to shower the bar mitzvah with candy while everyone sings “Mazal tov un simon tov!”

Bar Mitzvah Ceremony Facts

First and foremost, it’s important to note that even if a bar mitzvah ceremony or party does not take place, a young Jewish man will become a bar mitzvah on his 13th birthday. That means regardless of how the ceremony goes, no error or omission will disqualify a young man from becoming a bar mitzvah. Due to the pressure that some families may put on their bar mitzvah, this can be a source of anxiety before and during the ceremony, but no matter what happens, making it through is the real accomplishment.

Furthermore, since a bar mitzvah ceremony often takes place at synagogue, it can be tempting to put too much value on the ceremony itself, forgetting what the ceremony and after-party represents, which is the culmination of the boy’s life and a celebration of their entrance into adulthood. Instead of focusing exclusively on the rituals of the ceremony, it can be helpful for the child to think of the bigger picture of what it means to become an adult and to take ownership of their actions and thoughts.

Additionally, while the proceedings often occur on the Shabbat, a particular day of the week is not mandatory for a bar mitzvah ceremony. In fact, ceremonies can be held during the week, often on a Monday or Thursday when the Torah is publicly read — or they can be held at home or not at all if the family so decides. The young man will still become bar mitzvah on their 13th birthday, and, if so desired, a bar mitzvah party can still take place.

Bar Mitzvah Ceremony Steps: Aliyah

While other rituals and traditions may be part of a bar mitzvah ceremony, the most important piece is the aliyah, or reading from the Torah. It’s a bar mitzvah ceremony fact that a participant must know their Hebrew name as well as their father’s Hebrew name so that they can be called up to receive an aliyah. They’ll also need to know whether they are a Kohen, Levi or Yisrael, which governs the type of aliyah to be received.

Some young men will wear a tallit or prayer shawl during the proceedings, and at some synagogues its customary to read from small prayer boxes attached to the arm and head. But no matter the specifics, the guest of honor will be formally called up for the start of the ceremony.

After hearing their name, the young man will approach the bimah or reading platform, standing to the right of the reader and facing the large Torah scroll. En route to the Torah, it’s common for the young man to take the shortest distance from where they were seated, which expresses the eagerness of approaching the Torah. 

Once in front of the Torah, the reader will show the young man where to start reading and where to stop, and the Torah will be closed for a recital of the passage from memory. For many young men, this is the toughest point of the ceremony, but even if mistakes happen there’s no need to backtrack and get it right. Some may actually elect to read from the inside of the scroll or leave the Torah open during this part of the ceremony to make things easier.

After the blessing has been recited and the congregation responds, there may be a bit of back and forth and a further reading. If you’re familiar with the customs, feel free to participate along with the rest of the congregation, but it’s also ok to be an observer and wait for the conclusion of the ceremony. 

During the aliyah, members of the bar mitzvah boy’s family may distribute candies to those in attendance. The candies aren’t for eating, so don’t scarf yours down, but when the second blessing has concluded, everyone will throw their soft candies at the guest of honor. This represents a shower of sweet blessings, and the congregation will commonly break into Mazal Tov at this time.

It’s at this point that the boy has become a bar mitzvah, though the ceremony isn’t done yet. Following the aliyah, the bar mitzvah will return to their seat, and the father of the boy may recite a special blessing that concludes the ceremony. From here on, the boy is known as a bar mitzvah, meaning that he is now seen as an adult in the eyes of the community. 

What To Wear or Give at a Bar Mitzvah Ceremony

If you’ve been invited to a bar mitzvah but you’re not sure of the dress code, don’t fret. If the bar mitzvah ceremony is taking place in a synagogue, fact is that you will be expected to dress for the occasion. That means a suit or slacks and a tie for men and a modest dress or formal pantsuit for women. This isn’t the time to be adventurous in your attire, and be sure to avoid excessive skin. Either way, the expected dress code should be spelled out in the invitation, so don’t neglect to read it.

As for what bar mitzvah gifts are appropriate, money is most common. Often this money is pooled and may go towards a college fund or a trip to Israel, or you can make a donation to a charity in honor of the bar mitzvah. However, if you know the bar mitzvah and their family well, feel free to choose another, more appropriate gift.

If you’re looking to throw a bar mitzvah party for your child, look no further than the coming-of-age experts at Occasions4.us. With five fabulous venues all across Nevada, we can help turn a momentous occasion into an unforgettable one. Request an event proposal and reserve your bar mitzvah venue today!